In my world – as a working mum giving it to ‘The Man’ 9 til 5 – 5 days a week, when it is 12 o’clock on the dot? It means lunch time.


I grab my bag, chuck my sunnies on and sneak out the door before anyone notices.


I arrive at my secure location and pull out the most elusive object that I have been shame-hiding all day – my book.


Ok – I know how crazy this sounds.. I get it, but what I am trying to tell you is, how fricken frustrating being a book reader can be!

Here are my top peeves when I am reading a book or I like call:



I am on my lunch break busily trying to eat my lame arse salad and read at the same time.

Go away. It is pretty obvious that I am not up for chit chat. By all means take a seat next to me, but be quiet pleaseeeee. There is only so many polite  nods I can do in 30 minutes.


I care not about your lunch choice or the weather outside. I try to be nice,  I do. I actively say good morning to you and ask you how the kids are while making a cuppa tea in the break room.  So please let me eat my bullshit-Michelle Bridges approved 100 calorie-salad and read in peace. Don’t make me have to plug my headphones in and pretend to listen to music – I will do it.

You see a book within a one metre radius of me

This is not an invitation for you to pick up my book and start reading the back. C’mon don’t touch my shit! Don’t be flipping my pages, taking my bookmark out, or start telling me the book ‘looks like a shit read’. Step away before I shiv you.

I’ve lent you a book – 12  months ago

Give it back. No seriously. By this time if you haven’t read it yet, you’re not gonna read it.  Just give it back. And on that note, if the book is dog eared so help me I will go Crazy Eyes on you.


Don’t be a Spoiler

I am a huge advocate on not spoiler books for others. So when you see me reading, try not to be a dick and tell me how it is going to end. Fuck off Susan, no one likes you.

Slap in the face ‘book comments’

I get these ALOT. Either people don’t think I read (Yes, I have had someone actually say that to me), or hate the genre I read or “Wow that’s a big book for you” blah blah blah. Don’t be a book snob. Who cares?! Whether I am reading Harry Potter, The Magician or The Tales of Winnie the  Pooh, does it really matter? Be nice or don’t say anything at all. aka fuck right off. Seriously, don’t be a bully.


So as you can see I can get a little frustrated when I am reading. I am not a social butterfly every minute of the day, sometimes we just need some ‘me’ time. Some people go to the gym or like getting their nails done in their spare time. I like reading. So just be concious when you see a fellow booklover sitting down with her shitty salad trying to escape her 9-5 job.

Ems xx

  • Hayley

    You my beautiful friend are magnificent. I get it xx

    September 9th, 2016 19:26
    • Ems

      aw thanks Hayley! I’m glad SOMEONE gets it 😛

      September 12th, 2016 7:54
  • Jeannine Smith

    Hahahaha, I sure hope I don’t have any of your books on loan lol

    September 9th, 2016 19:34
    • Ems

      Oh – You would know if you did!

      September 12th, 2016 7:55
  • Erin Hauser

    Haha yes to all of these! Especially the lunch break bit 👏👏👏

    September 9th, 2016 20:18
    • Ems

      I had to sacrifice everyone knowing I listen to fake music on a lunch break for the greater good!

      September 12th, 2016 7:55

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